Happy Halloween, Xenosaga!
by TheShoelessOne
Summary: Chapter 3 up! When you think of Halloween, you think of images like pumpkins, ghosts and candy, right? Not battle androids, cyborgs and Gnosis? Just making sure.
1. Happy Friggin' Halloween!

**Happy Halloween, Xenosaga!**  
  
"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Just do it, Tony!!"

"Damn you! Damn you all to Hell! And when you get there, damn you back to Earth then back to Hell again!"

"That's not going to save you."

"I hate you."

"I can't help it if I'm charming."

"... I _loathe_ you."

"What the hell are you girls arguing about this time?"

With Matthews's appearance on the bridge, the navigator and the pilot suddenly became utterly silent. They hated those silences. They knew that they had just done something stupid, hadn't realized it, and were about to get punished in some sick, sadistic way. The way Matthews's jaw line twitched, his lips pulled into one thin line, and his eyes narrowed to the width of a fishing line. Hammer looked at Tony.  
  
"I bequeath my stereo unto you, dearest of friends."

"What good is it if I die too, idiot?" Tony growled back, still guarding himself against what Hammer held in his hands.  
  
"Shut-up, both of you morons!" Matthews's voice could have leveled a small city, and Hammer ducked quickly behind his chair in fear. Tony crossed his arms and assumed the same visage as his captain. Matthews stared him down.  
  
"Listen, Captain, I think that we should get the holidays off," Tony said under his breath. The vein in Matthews's right temple began to bulge.

"Holidays? What freakin' holidays? It's the middle of October! What the hell kind of holiday do you morons wanna take in October?"

"Actually, it's the _end_ of October, Captain," Hammer offered from his place behind the chair. Matthews grunted loudly, and Hammer shot back out of view. Tony glared in his direction, seemed to sum up all of his energy, puffing out his chest.  
  
"Hammer would like-"

"WE WOULD LIKE!" Hammer shouted from his safe haven behind the chair.  
  
"_We would like_ to have tomorrow off sir, for..." Tony rolled his eyes, and gave a long exasperated sigh.  
  
"Say it!" Hammer urged.  
  
"_You_ say it!" Tony whined, widening his mouth in agony.

"SAY IT!"

"We would like to have.... _Halloween_ off, sir." Tony said in a quick, exhaling sentence. The word 'Halloween' hung in the air like a bad smell, and the look on Matthews's face only heightened the sense of it. Then, against all reasoning, Matthews laughed.  
  
"Halloween ain't no holiday, ya morons. It's an excuse to get the kids outta yer hair and for them to get free candy." He stopped suddenly, and Hammer swore that he could almost see the old, tired hamster wheezing as it turned the wheel inside Matthews's brain. Thought after thought was compounding in the captain's brain, and he raised one eyebrow slowly. Minutes passed in silence as the man thought. Hammer was even brave enough to come out from behind his chair. The navigator looked from Tony, to Matthews, then back to Tony.  
  
"I knew that you would do it someday," Hammer said lucidly.  
  
"Do what?" Tony asked, distracted from his staring vigil with Captain Matthews.  
  
"Kill the Captain," Hammer stated, clasping his hands behind his back and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.  
  
"What the-?!" Tony blurted.  
  
"Now the only question is where to stash the body. I won't cover for you if you get found out, Tony."

"I didn't kill nobody! The old geezer's just thinkin'!"

"It was a clever plot, I'll give you that. Who would have thought that _thinking_ would have killed him?"

"Shut-up, Hammer!"

"You shut-up, Tony!"

"I've got it!!" Matthews's sudden return to the conscious world knocked both the navigator and the pilot to the ground in shock. "Ya morons convinced me, you can have Halloween off!" The two underlings looked at each other in disbelief, then back to their captain.  
  
"You're not joking?" Hammer asked.  
  
"Nope," Matthews reassured him.  
  
"And you won't jerk the curtain back and there'll be hidden cameras all over the place, will there?" Tony asked, looking around himself nervously.  
  
"... Where the hell did that come from?" Matthews asked, digging his eyebrows downward. Tony flinched.  
  
"Nothing, sir. We'll just be going down to the Foundation now." Tony grabbed Hammer by the arm, jerked him bodily to his feet, and began charging out of the bridge like Hell Fire was on his heels.  
  
"Oh, there's just one thing, guys," Matthews said just as they were in the doorway. Tony halted abruptly, causing Hammer to fall to the ground beside him. He turned slowly, afraid of what devilish scheme the captain had cooking up.  
  
"Yes, sir?" His voice was resolute despite his fear.  
  
"You morons gotta take Little Master trick-or-treating on the Foundation tomorrow."

---

"Get my best suit!" 

"Yes, Little Master!"

"Cologne! Dive into Gaignun's private stash!"

"Yes, Little Master!"

"Corsage?"

"No, Little Master, that's a bit over the top!"

"... All right, no corsage." Jr. tossed the tiny fake flower over his shoulder and allowed the little blue-haired Realians to slip his black jacket over his shoulders. While two of them buttoned the cuffs and inserted cufflinks, another sprayed the little man's underarms and neck with the strong-smelling cologne. Another little Realian was dashing about his room in search of one thing or another. Mary and Shelley observed all of this with an air of confusion. Mary told the searching Realian where she could find Jr.'s favorite boots, while Shelley approached her superior.  
  
"Little Master, may I ask what this is all about?" Shelley's voice was, as normal, monotone, but her lips were turned up in an amusing half-smile.  
  
"All about?" He hopped down off of the stool and stomped up to Shelley. "Don't you two remember what tomorrow is?!"

"Yes, Little Master. But try not to say it too lou-"

"It's _Halloween_!!" Jr. shouted, not realizing that he had just committed a horrible mistake. Suddenly, Mary was at his side, and her mouth was moving faster than anyone had thought possible.  
  
"I do declare, Halloween is my favorite time of the year 'sides Christmas, but Christmas isn't for a while yet, so I do have plenty o' time to be all hippity-doo about Halloween, an' me an' Shelley are goin' shoppin' t'night, we're gonna get ourselves our dainty li'l costumes, the cutest things you ever did see, Little Mastah, an' I'm sure that we'll win the costume contest this year, Little Mastah, me an' Shelley, we're goin' as a pair-" Mary was silenced with a spray of Gaignun's overly potent cologne, where, taking one whiff, she fell to the ground. Jr. nodded to the little Realian who had knocked her out.  
  
"Thanks. If she'd talked for about five seconds longer, I would've stuffed that corsage up her-"  
  
"You didn't answer my question, Little Master," Shelley interrupted. "Why are you so dressed up when Hallo-" She corrected herself quickly, looking at her incapacitated sister at her feet. "... all Hallows Eve is tomorrow night?"

"Tonight's the night we go shopping for the decorations, and I try to get in with the judge of the costume contest of the parade."

"Little Master," Shelley sighed, rolling her eyes, "every year you try to shmooze on the costume judge, and every year you do not even place tenth. I think it would be best to leave the judge to his own abilities and just appreciate the parade."

"Wait, did you say '_him_'?" Jr.'s suave glances in the mirror at himself suddenly turned to stone.  
  
"Yes. They replaced the last judge, Ms. Freeman, with a mal judge, Mr. Hauptbahnhof." Shelley stared as Jr.'s face grew pale and stony. He straightened his gaudy tie and cleared his throat.  
  
"I guess I should still have that candlelight dinner I promised..."

---

"Is this one big enough?" MOMO held the large pumpkin in front of her; the force needed to pick it up almost throwing her off balance. Ziggy's arm halted her fall and took the pumpkin from her hands, staking it on top of a pile of four overly large pumpkins that he and Shion had already picked out. 

"It's fine," he told her and he helped her to regain her balance. He looked over his shoulder to see chaos lifting a tiny little pumpkin into the full arms of Allen. "How are you two holding up back there?" He called over the pumpkin field. Allen nearly toppled over, his pile of at least twenty tiny pumpkins staggering dangerously.  
  
"Perfect!" chaos called back, taking another fist-sized pumpkin from the ground. Shion appeared beside Ziggy, three head-sized pumpkins balanced in her arms.  
  
"It's amazing!" she exclaimed, looking at the dome of the Kukai Foundation above them. "The Foundation has everything, from beaches to pumpkin patches."

"It has to be self-sustaining, Shion," Ziggy muttered as he took one of the largest pumpkins from Shion's arms and placed it amongst his own. She noticed this, of course, but did not say anything about it. Ziggy always managed to take the majority of the burden, claiming that he was 'distributing it evenly.'

"Shion," MOMO asked, tugging at the woman's sleeve, "are you and KOS-MOS going to be in the parade too?" Shion blushed.  
  
"I think that I'm a little too old to go trick-or-treating, MOMO, but I'll come with you if you'd like." To Shion's surprise, MOMO's face contorted in horror.  
  
"Too old for Halloween?" She stared hard at Shion, then looked away, her eyes wide in fright. "Will I be too old for Halloween someday?"

"Of course not," Ziggy said quickly, bending down to pick up the largest pumpkin they had seen all day. Shion furrowed her brows at the cyborg.  
  
"Ziggy, I don't think that you should get-"

"Shion Uzuki?" A man suddenly stood before them in an absurd yellow bellhop uniform. MOMO covered her mouth to keep from laughing, and Shion screwed up her face to try and remain calm.  
  
"That's me," she said as calmly as she could, the laughter bubbling in her stomach.  
  
"Got a message from Master Gaignun to the Pumpkin Search Party." He looked at the three of them, then to Allen and chaos, who were working much too hard to balance the twenty-seventh tiny pumpkin on top of the stack. "That you lot?"

"That's us," Shion said, grabbing the holographic telegraph from the yellow bellhop. "What's this all about?" The bellhop suddenly acted as if he was offended.  
  
"You daft, lady? Bellhops can't looks at holographic telegrams! Voice activated, they are! And this one's for Shion Uzuki, so I'll be leaving now!" The angry bellhop in yellow waddled away as quickly as his oversized uniform would let him, and as soon as he was out of hearing range, both of the ladies fell into hysterical laughter. Allen and chaos were suddenly beside them, craning their necks around Ziggy's pile of enormous pumpkins to get a look at the girls.  
  
"Go on, Shion, open it. What does Master Gaignun want?" chaos asked with interest. Shion wiped the tears from her eyes and broke the wax seal on the envelope, revealing a platform to project the image from.  
  
"Shion Uzuki," she stated clearly. Summarily, a hovering hologram of Gaignun's head appeared in front of them.  
  
"To the Pumpkin Search Party," Gaignun started, "Please return to the Durandal as soon as possible and dump your load of pumpkins in my office. The Realians will know what to do with them. There are important things that must be discussed. Also, I am to inform you that the KOS-MOS android has been fully charged and is ready to function again. Gaignun Kukai, signing off." The image did not turn off, or even flicker. A huge grin spread over Gaignun's face. "I am sorry, but I have always wanted to say that." The image was gone.

---  
  
AN: Ta-DAH! A new holiday story from The ShoelessOne. I can only hope that this one is as well recieved as Christmas, but I doubt it. That one rocked. Verilly. Anyway... Feedback, please! Hope everyone loves it as much as I already do!


	2. Blood Moon and Fiendish Plans

**Chapter Two: Blood Moon and Fiendish Plans**

Jr. looked over his shoulder apprehensively, loosening his collar with a nervous finger. His two blue-haired Realian escorts were following closely behind, chatting amiably. Jr. furrowed his brows. If he was nervous, then, by God, they should be nervous too. 

"You know," he said loudly over their chatting, "Halloween is the most unholy day of the year, especially for Realians." The two looked up sharply. 

"What do you mean, Little Master?" one of them asked. 

"Why, Halloween is the day when the Blood Moon shines down, transforming all humans into zombies, searching for the tasty neuro of little Realians." He wiggled his fingers in a macabre way, pulling his mouth wide in a malign grin. The Realian girls, wide-eyed, looked to the sky, searching for the ominous Blood Moon. Jr. sighed in satisfaction and shoved his hands into his pockets. 

"Will the human zombies come after us, Little Master?" the other Realian asked, clutching the hands of her identical companion. Jr. shrugged in a nonchalant way. 

"Oh, not until the Blood Moon on Halloween, I guess. Maybe you should lock yourselves in a supply closet where you'd be safer."

"Yes, a supply closet!" The first one gasped. "The zombies would never find us there!"

"But what if they smell our neuro...?"

"Your _tasty_ neuro!" Jr. interjected with another spasm of wiggling fingertips. The second Realian put her fingers to her lips in horror. 

"If they smell our tasty neuro, they could find us anywhere, even in a supply closet!" A long, high-pitched whine escaped each Realian's pursed lips, and Jr. smirked. As long as someone was nervous with him, it was all right being nervous, even if it wasn't for the same reason. 

The streets of the Kukai Foundation were oddly cold and dark for the night before Halloween. Perhaps Gaignun had set the weather control a bit too low. Jr.'d have to talk to him about that when he got back to the Durandal. Even the street lamps seemed a bit dimmer than usual, their dull orange glow glinting off of the wet street. Jr. didn't remember it raining yesterday, but he shrugged it off. He didn't pay attention much of anything anyway. He dug into his pocket to find the swatch of paper with Mr. Hauptbahnhof's address scrawled onto it. It was different from Ms. Freeman's. He scowled. Why'd they have to change judges this year? He almost had Ms. Freeman eating out of his hand last year, and he would've won this year for sure! 

"Little Master," the first Realian escort whispered, as if they were being watched from every angle, "why do humans turn into zombies on the Blood Moon?" Jr. glanced behind him again, and the two were still clutching each other with wide, fearful eyes.

"Well," Jr. wracked his brain for a smart-sounding lie, "it all started... 400 years ago... You see, there was this evil King... Yeah... See, he was this, er, Magic King. He was a Magic Human King who hated Realians."

"Why did the Magic Human King hate Realians, Little Master?" The second Realian's voice was trembling. Jr. dug his eyes downward. 

"They, uh... Stole all of his Magical Halloween Cookies. Yeah, the Realians broke into his Magic Castle and stole all of his Magical Halloween Cookies that he was gonna give to the Trick-or-Treaters. So, being a Magic Human King and all, he put a curse on all of the Realians forever, saying that on Halloween, under the Blood Moon, all the humans would turn into zombies and try to eat all the tasty Realian neuro."

Another whine came from each Realian, their now owl-like eyes swooping the sky for any sign of the Blood Moon. Jr.'s smile returned. Okay, so it was fun. He began searching the numbers above the houses for Mr. Hauptbahnhof's address. 3421... 3423...

"AHA!" Jr. shouted in a voice that made both of the Realians jump backwards and shriek. "3425! This is it!" He turned to face the trembling Realians and tried to straighten his tie. "How do I look?" The two breathed in and out shakily, and nodded. 

"You l-l-look gr-great, Little Muh-Master," the first stuttered. The second one was staring at the house behind Jr. 

"Little Muh-Master..." she squeaked, "I don't th-think you should g-go in there." She pointed a shaking finger toward Hauptbahnhof's house, and slowly, Jr. turned. 

It was like one of those cheesy horror films Jr. had always loved to watch. Just as he turned, a flare of lightning lit the sky and a roll of thunder rumbled through the Foundation. Silhouetted against the lightning bolt was a Gothic house, flying buttresses and all. The steepled towers stretched toward the sky, scratching it with the outlandish weather-vanes. Jr. stepped back an inch, then gathered his strength and resolve. He turned to the two behind him, puffing his chest out. 

"I'm goin' in," he said in a noticeably more macho voice than he usually used. Just as he turned again to face the ominous house (along with another thunder crack) the two Realians leapt forward and latched themselves around his ankles and wept openly. 

"Oh, Little Master, don't leave us!" Number One pleaded. 

"Not with the Blood Moon so close!" Cried Number Two. Jr. Raised an eyebrow. Surely they were smarter than to really believe his little story. Then again, he wasn't looking forward to having dinner all alone with some creepy guy with an unpronounceable name. 

"All right," he said, picking the two Realians up off of his legs and to their feet, "you two can come with me. But... Can you at least tell me your names so I don't get you confused and all?" The Realians looked at each other. 

"I'm Realian Serial Number 57927."

"And I'm Realian Serial Number 44634."

Jr. gave them both a blank stare, then pulled the corsage out of his pocket and placed it in the hair of one of the Realians, and wrapped his tie around the other one's head like a headband. 

"You," he said, pointing to the corsaged Realian, "are Anna. And you," he pointed to the tie-as-a-headband Realian, "are Nina." The Realians looked at each other, then nodded. 

The three of them approached the black iron gate, and Jr.'s touch allowed it to squeal open with a rusty howl. Nina and Anna clutched Jr.'s jacket hem and huddled close together. Jr.'s brow began to dampen. They made their way up the old and overgrown walkway, feeling as if they were making their way through a grass jungle. Ahead loomed the black house, its windows ferocious eyes glaring down at them and the door a mouth ready to swallow victims. The stairs beneath their feet creaked loudly. Jr.'s hand rose to knock on the wide black door, but as his knuckles came within an inch of the wood, it swung open of its own accord. A dark figure loomed in the doorway. Anna and Nina screamed. 

"May I help you?" A deep, heavily accented voice asked from the doorway. The Realians slapped hands over their mouths to cut their screams short. There stood a tall, graying man in his late forties. He had a dark maroon vest pulled over a gray sweater and had a very homey steaming mug of coffee in his hands. Jr. breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Mr. Hauptbahnhof?" Jr. asked. The man smiled, showing a myriad of wrinkles. 

"Yes, I am him. Vaht is it you are vanting vith me?" His dark German accent washed over them, calming them at last. 

"I'm Gaignun Kukai Jr.," Jr. offered his hand. "I arranged a dinner a few nights before with your secretary..." Hauptbahnhof shook Jr.'s hand warmly. 

"Oh yes, you are the boy, then? Velcome to my home, zir and madams." He stepped backwards to allow the three to enter. Anna and Nina "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed at the old relics in the house, while Hauptbahnhof relieved Jr. of his jacket, showing the three of them to the dining room. There were already four places set, although Jr. had not warned Mr. Hauptbahnhof that his two Realian friends would be joining him. He shrugged it off and decided to enjoy his evening in the spooky house with the German man and the two Realians.

------

Ziggy unceremoniously dumped his load of heavy pumpkins on Gaignun's desk. Shion decided to lay hers carefully at the foot of Gaignun's chair, while chaos and Allen piled the tiny pumpkins onto the pool table in the center of the room. MOMO glanced around. She had never seen Gaignun's office before, and it was actually intriguing, not like the other boring rooms on the Durandal. Ziggy ruffled her pink hair between his fingers, a single pumpkin left cradled under his free arm. 

"What do you say we find you a Halloween costume, MOMO?" Ziggy asked. "You can't win the contest without one." MOMO gave him an inquisitive look. 

"There's a contest too? Not just a parade?" She raised an eyebrow. chaos swooped down beside her, his eyes filled with childhood memories. 

"It's wonderful, MOMO!" chaos said, clasping his hands together. "All of the children on the Foundation dress up on Halloween night and parade through the main street. Then, when they reach the Town Square, there's a stage where the judges are waiting to choose just a handful of them to win the costume contest!" He looked as if he were about to explode from happiness. "And you know what the prize is?"

"No, what is it?" MOMO's eyes were as wide and filled with joy as his. chaos threw up his arms in glee. 

"_I don't know either_!" With that chaos leapt to his feet and dashed from the room, giggling with delight. MOMO watched him go, unsure of what to think.

"It's alright, MOMO," Hammer said as he and Tony waltzed into the room. "chaos always gets a little weird around Halloween time." MOMO smiled, and ran up to give a hug to Hammer and Tony. 

"Yeah," Tony said nonchalantly, acting as if he didn't enjoy MOMO's hug, "he's been in the parade every year since he's been with the Elsa, and he's never won."

"I thought he said that the parade was for_ children_," Allen said as he placed the last miniature pumpkin on the pyramid of them he and chaos had created on the pool table. Hammer glanced around outside the door to make sure that chaos was out of hearing range then whispered quietly. 

"Sometimes I think that he thinks he's still a kid. Y'know... With the prancing and everything..." He gave a weak smile to Ziggy, who didn't look amused. He instead knelt next to MOMO and spoke to her as if nothing in the last three minutes had actually happened. 

"So, do you know what you want to be for Halloween?" Ziggy asked. MOMO looked to the floor, embarrassed. 

"Well... I've never actually had a real Halloween before, and..." She shuffled her feet awkwardly. Ziggy's eyebrows raised, but he looked as if he wasn't sure what to say. Shion took in his expression, then knelt next to MOMO as well. 

"You know, I've always loved Halloween... Maybe Ziggy and I can help you with your costume!" Ziggy gave a sharp look to Shion, as of to say 'I'm new to this Halloween thing too,' but MOMO's look of happiness cut his look short. 

"Really?! Oh, would you?"

"Of course," Ziggy told her with a smile in his eyes. "Just as soon as you help me carve this pumpkin, all right?" MOMO nodded, her pigtails bobbing gaily. He shoved himself to his feet, and, taking MOMO's hand, the two walked out of the room. Shion raised a finger to the ceiling. 

"I think I'll go with them, you know, to make sure Ziggy doesn't accidentally impale MOMO on that blade of his." And she was off after them. This left Allen alone with Hammer and Tony. He quailed under their combined gazes. 

"_Whaaaaat_?" He asked at last in a nasally tone. Hammer strolled forward casually and smacked his hand down on Allen's shoulder. 

"Allen, Allen, Allen," he said, shaking his head. "You've been left all alone."

"Looks like you've got nothing to do but hang with us," Tony added, leaning against the doorframe. Allen knew he didn't like where this was going. 

"What do you guys want?" He asked, looking around for anyone. Alas, he was all alone with whatever fiendish plan the two had in store for him. Hammer grasped him around the shoulders and steered him toward the door. As soon as all three of them were outside in the hall, the door shut noiselessly. 

"See, the Captain put us on a little mission, and we thought, 'Hey, why not let Allen help us out, the poor guy.'" Hammer said. 

"Poor guy," Tony echoed, shaking his head as if in mourning. Allen wondered if he should start shouting for help. 

"What kind of mission?" Allen dared to ask. He could always run later, couldn't he? When their guard was down? 

"See, we have to hunt down Little Master and take him Trick-or-Treating tomorrow," Hammer said. Allen relaxed a bit. That didn't seem _too_ evil. 

"But we've gotta find him first, the little rat," Tony muttered. "Master Gaignun said he ran off to the Foundation for some sort of dinner with an old fogey."

"Oh..." Allen said, his eyes growing wide. "I didn't know Jr.... swung that way..."

"No, you dumb shit!" Tony growled. "Little Master thought it was a chick, but it turned out to be an old fart. But he's an upstanding gentleman, Little Master is, so he wouldn't stand up anyone for dinner."

"But turns out Master Gaignun needed Little Master to do some shopping for the big Halloween party, and he never got around to it before heading to the old guy's place." Hammer explained, still holding Allen's shoulders in a death grip as he steered him down the hallway to the shuttle. 

"Y'know, some people say that Hauptbahnhof's a zombie or something like that," Tony mused quietly. Allen eventually gave up his struggle and just let Hammer drag him. 

"What was that name? Hap-van-hoff?" Allen asked. Tony restrained himself from knocking Allen over the head with something blunt. 

"No, he's German, you idiot! Or Romanian or something. Hauptbahnhof." Tony grumbled as he punched in the code to open the gate to the shuttle. 

"Sooooooo..." Allen drew out the word as Hammer dragged him onto the shuttle to the Foundation, "we need to find this Hap-van-hoff guy so we can take Jr. decoration shopping?"

"Exactly," Hammer said. The shuttle door closed, and the ride to the Foundation began. 

"Oh...." Allen drummed his fingers against his side. "How anticlimactic."

------

AN: All right, I know it's been forever since I updated, but I didn't mean to take so long. See, I was working on my Holmes fic, and I just got my wisdom teeth out, so I've been in pain. BUT! I finally got the second chappie out, and I hope it's okay. Gimme your feedback and love, and I'll keep churning out chapters! Oh, and welcome back, Amanda Swiftgold! It's great to have you back!


	3. No Such Thing As Vampires

**Chapter Three: No Such Thing As Vampires**

"Please, zir, take your seat. My servants vill bring ze food soon."

Jr. smirked. "Servants, eh?"

"Yes, zey are very faithful to me." Hauptbahnhof took his seat at the head of the long table and clasped his long fingers together. "Now tell me, little ones, vhy is it you haff come to me tonight?" Jr. looked at Anna, who was sitting across from him, then to Nina, who was at his side, then cleared his throat.

"Well, see, Mr. Hauptbahnhof-"

"Please, call me Viktor," Hauptbahnhof said with his rumbling accent. Jr. flashed a wan smile.

"Viktor... I make it my duty to have dinner with the head judge of the costume contest."

"Not to mention my predecessor vas a female, ya?"

"No, no," Jr. blushed, "I just like to eat dinner..."

"Vell, I cannot turn avay such lovely guests the night before All Hallows Eve. I say ve eat in honor of ze night to come."

"Yeah..." Jr. said as he glanced around.

"Mr. Hauptbahnhof," Anna said quickly, "are you all right? Your red blood cell count seems awfully low!"

"And I sense a lack of heat in your body!" Nina added, looking palely at her companion. Mr. Hauptbahnhof shook his head and waved the two's comments off.

"Ah, I am an old man, children. You haff no need to take worry." He clapped his hands once, and a pale woman in a maid's uniform waltzed into the room, handing Hauptbahnhof a wineglass full of dark red wine. She kissed him lightly on the temple.

"For you, Viktor," she mumbled before she walked back into the darkness, rubbing her neck. Hauptbahnhof swirled the wine in his glass and made a satisfied noise.

"Erika is my newest servant, as you vould see." He drank deeply and made a long sigh. Jr. raised an eyebrow.

"Sir, you're... dripping..."

"Ah!" Hauptbahnhof quickly grabbed a napkin and wiped the viscous liquid from his chin. "Thank you, child."

----------

"Eek! Watch out!"

Ziggy looked over his shoulder to see Shion with his fingertips on her lips. Ziggy was about to make the first cut into the pumpkin, and his blade was barely pricking the pumpkin's skin. MOMO turned to stare at Shion as well. Ziggy, ever so slowly, raised an eyebrow.

"Shion," he said, as if speaking to a child, "I'm not going to hurt the pumpkin. It's already dead." Shion threw her fists to her side and stamped her foot.

"No! You were about to slice MOMO in half!" She pointed violently at the girl, who Ziggy had made sure was stationed safely five feet away. Now MOMO was beginning to question Shion's sanity.

"Trust me," Ziggy assured the woman, "I would never do anything that would endanger MOMO's life. I'm just carving a pumpkin."

"I drew on the pumpkin, Shion!" MOMO said with glee. Shion took her eyes to the orange skin of the pumpkin, and drawn in permanent marker was the face of the U.M.N. bunny scrawled with childish lines. Shion had to admit that it was cute, despite her recent loathing for the creepy bunny. Ziggy cleared his throat.

"May I continue, or are you not in the safety zone?" Shion detected sarcasm in his voice, something she was sure that he was not apt to. Arms akimbo, she stuck out her bottom lip, a sign that she was not happy, but he could carve as he wished. Sighing, Ziggy plunged his blade into the pumpkin and began sawing out the shapes.

"GAH! Get back, MOMO!" Shion shouted at last, reaching out for MOMO's arm as Ziggy's elbow jutted out in her general direction, albeit five feet away. MOMO stumbled backwards under Shion's grasp, and Ziggy halted again.

"Shion, she is perfectly fine where she was standing. I placed her there so that she could see the pumpkin being carved, but be in a position of optimum safety." His tone was low and growling.

"He is correct, Shion," droned a metallic voice from behind. Everyone turned to it to see a wave of blue hair. Shion exhaled in relief.

"Oh, KOS-MOS, I'm so glad that you're here!" She dragged KOS-MOS to stand next to Ziggy. "Tell him how dangerous this is, especially with a child around!"

"I'm not a child..." MOMO said sadly.

"Shion, Ziggy is correct in his statement. It is illogical of you to calculate the correct distance of safety without the correct equipment, which you do not have installed. MOMO's distance was indeed the precise location for premium safety and the emotion known as joy." She turned to the Realian. "You may return to the location you have previously occupied." MOMO did so, skipping and smiling. Shion fumed.

"KOS-MOS..."

"While it is illogical to carve a vegetable in such a fashion, I assume that it is part of human custom to carve large, orange vegetables on the night of the 30th of October." KOS-MOS blinked her red, owl-like eyes. Shion, exasperated, waved her off.

"This is gonna be the most beautiful pumpkin ever, Ziggy!" MOMO chimed from her Spot of Ultimate Safety. Ziggy almost smiled.

"Ziggy," came Shion's voice. Ziggy's almost-smile dropped before it was there. "Watch where you're cutting! Don't cut through the middle of the eye!" Ziggy finally lost his patience.

"Shion, _please_ stop being a back-seat carver! Either stop complaining or _get your own pumpkin_!" Ziggy furrowed his brows and continued to saw at the fleshy pumpkin. There was silence. Finally, MOMO put her hands to her mouth and giggled.

----------

"Oh, this is bad," Hammer mumbled as he wrapped his coat around himself. The moon was hiding behind a cloud, and all three of them could see their breath in the frigid air. Tony shot him a glare.

"What's so bad about it? I like the fall. Not too cold and not too hot." He said this as he pulled up the collar on his borrowed down jacket. He had rifled through the closet in Gaignun's room, only to find a rather flamboyant pink down jacket. Hammer and Allen had stopped coming up with witty comments about five blocks back.

"This place is evil," Hammer said quietly, glancing sideways at a dark alley. It was almost true: this was a part of the Foundation that was seldom visited, and had grown disused and uncared for. Fires in old tin barrels crackled as poorly-garbed individuals huddled around them. A particularly old hag watched the three well-dressed newcomers with growing interest. Allen looked away from her quickly and sped up his steps until he was side-by-side with Hammer.

"What are we doing here, anyway?" Allen asked. Tony grumbled, unwilling to reply. Hammer snorted in Tony's direction, then turned to Allen.

"Down past these slums is where the old judge used to live. She might know where to find where Jr.'s gone off to." He gave a shifty glance around him, then lowered his voice. "Ms. Freeman is the only person in these parts who isn't desperately poor. Sometimes she rents her house out to the bums."

"Well, that's nice," Allen chirped. Tony grunted.

"Shut up, you lout! We don't wanna mess with the wrong people in this place. We just need to find Little Master and get this over with."

"I CAN HELP YOU!" A loud, shrill voice filled the darkened street, and all three of the men jumped and spun on their heels to face the voice. It was the old hag, stooped with age. A knobby stick was clutched in her hand as she hobbled toward the men. Hammer was clutching his heart in shock.

"Lady! You don't have to shout!" Hammer cried piteously.

"You nearly gave me a heart-attack!" Allen added.

"What the hell do you want, old woman?" Tony asked. The woman put a wrinkled finger to her even more wrinkled lips.

"Quiet, little ones. I am Rowena, the gypsy of this city. We must not speak here, for yours is a quest of most evil things not for mortal ears to heed!"

"Then why are you shouting?!" Tony yelled, his hackles raising. Nearly all of the underprivileged were listing now. Rowena grabbed all three of them and shoved them into a particularly black alley. Their only company was a rather thin rat. Rowena hunched even lower, as if that would improve their ability to hear her whispers.

"The man you seek, this Hauptbahnhof, you must not approach him!" Rowena said in a harsh whisper. Suddenly, their interest was piqued.

"What do you mean?" Allen asked.

"This Hauptbahnhof is a servant of evil. He steals life from those near him to sustain his own! He dines on the lifeblood we hold so dear!"

"....Wait, what?" Tony asked. He raised an incredulous eyebrow. "I don't believe in gypsies, so why should I believe the crock you're tryin' to sell us?"

"I speak not of crock, young man, but of THE TRUTH!!" On these last two words, she raised her voice at least five decibels, and struck a pointing finger into the cold air. Hammer threw his hands over his ears and Allen winced. Tony was unmoved.

"Geez! Lady!" Hammer whined.

"Hush, little one!" Rowena crooned. "I give you this warning, and this warning alone! Do not approach this Hauptbahnhof without the weapons you are in need of. You will surely DIE if you are not prepared!!"

"What exactly are you talking about?" Allen asked.

"Why, my dear boy.... A VAMPIRE!!"

----------

"So, uh," Jr. started, tearing his eye away from the Hauptbahnhof family crest hanging above the head of the table, "what d'you expect from the Halloween parade tomorrow? Think anyone will win?" Hauptbahnhof finished off his third glass of wine. He hadn't touched the chicken platter in front of him. Anna and Nina had finished entirely, and were trying to find a napkin anywhere.

"Oh, there vill be much competition this year, child. No vone in particular stands out in my mind yet." He dabbed at the corners of his mouth with what seemed to be the only napkin in the house. His eyes traveled to Jr., and he raised an eyebrow. "And vaht is it you vill be trussed up as, little one?" Jr. cleared his throat and gave a sly grin. This was his chance to really milk it for all it was worth.

"Oh, I have it all planned out. I'm gonna be a vampire!"

Hauptbahnhof nearly choked on his wine.

"Vaht vas that?"

"A vampire! Gaignun found the realest fake blood they sell on the Foundation! And there's this really wicked cape that Shelley found, I think it's a little long, but she said she could take the hem up a little bit. Plus, there's this ad we saw on the U.M.N. info structure about _real_ vampire teeth! They put this neat little tooth thing on your real teeth, and I was thinking about putting some of that fake blood on them..." Jr. trailed off as he saw the strange look that had suddenly taken on.

"There is no zuch thing as Vampires, my little friend." A cruel smile filled his wine-stained lips.

----------

AN: Tah-dah! If I'm lucky, I'll get this whole fic up by Christmas! WOO HOO! Anyway, heh, sorry for taking so long on this, folks. I'm glad that people are still reading it despite the horrid over-late-ness of it. Also, as a side-note, I'm training to be the DM of my D&D group, so that's gonna occupy a lot of time too. Happy Holidays, everyone!


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